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The first step to combat any harrassment is to say NO

submitted 9 months ago by in Social
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Late night, a few weeks ago, I got a call from my friend. She was very upset.
She was being constantly being pursued by someone who she didn’t want to be friends with. They were on the same vacation group tour where he had come with his wife. Their personal interaction during the tour was minimal and she never responded to him even when he tried to befriend her.  
After the tour, this person began to send her messages on her phone. She chose to ignore them because she had no intention of being friends with him. 
“He creeps me out.” She had complained, during my chat with her, while her holiday was still going on. 

She blocked his number on her phone. So he contacted her via Facebook. She blocked him there too. It didn’t end there. A few nights ago, he sent her another barrage of messages…from another phone number. 

That’s when she called me in utter distress. She didn’t respond to his message and simply blocked him. She lives alone, in a big city. At this stage, she is embarrassed to take help from her parents who are aged. She is afraid that they will worry too much. She doesn’t want to make a big deal about it and so she is choosing to ignore it.
It’s a mistake that most women make…ignoring the signs of what could end up being a fatal flaw.

If you are uncomfortable with a message or a conversation or a touch, PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN IMMEDIATELY. It could be anyone…a boss or a co-worker, an uncle, teacher, cousin. Most women ignore these signs of silent stalking. Very often, it ends up badly.
I know a lot of instances where trouble has been nipped in the bud, right in the beginning, simply because the woman was strong and bold enough to put her foot down and draw the line, as soon as the problem began.  
A boss who is getting a bit too close, that professor who accidently keeps brushing against you or that one person who keeps starring at you making you uncomfortable…you need to let the person know that you are NOT ok with it. What’s the worse that can happen? They will think of you as snobbish or prudish. But how does their opinion matter, in any case? 
This is especially useful if you are living alone…like my friend. If you are being troubled by someone, confide in someone who is trustworthy and who can help you in the time of need. In the worse case scenario, someone will at least know that you are in potential trouble. 
This is true in the literal sense as well as the figurative. It is natural to cower, lower your glance or hunch a bit when trouble is near. A few women begin to walk faster when they spot a trouble maker. Your posture and body language is a dead giveaway and gives your perpetrator the upper hand.
Look at the person eye to eye, without stooping or cowering. You don’t need to stop what you are doing or run away when trouble is close at hand. Most often, such people are cowards and looking at them straight in the eye is what can solve the problem then and there itself. 


It’s quite ok to be badass. If this person is making you uncomfortable, don’t wait for years to write an anonymous blog post about it. I know of one woman who got her justice by releasing incriminating evidence on social media. Someone was sending her inappropriate jokes and pictures messages on Facebook messenger. They were extremely embarrassing…but finally, she mustered courage and took print screens of all these messages. Tagging him, she put them up on Facebook. I’m sure he must have been trolled by his friends and family. The result was that the rascal deleted his Facebook account and disappeared. Let’s hope he never harassed another woman again. 
A lot of women, even the so-called urban educated ones, tend to destroy the evidence because the natural instinct is to get away from trouble. But this is a big mistake. Technology can be used to your best advantage. Keep a record of the messages/ phone calls. If things get bad, you can use this to take legal action against the person. A lot of harassment cases don’t come to any conclusion because of lack of evidence. Instinctively, you will be tempted to block the number, delete the messages. This is a mistake. 
If things get really bad, you can use all your evidence to show to the cops or an advocate who can help you out. Police can be especially useful in such matters. There are Cyber Cells, Special Women’s forces etc. to help you in case of such matters. 
Its important to remember that most cases of sexual harassment, eve teasing or molestation happen because the perpetrator thinks that he can get away with it. You need to say no the minute you think it’s happening to you. Small offences lead to bigger crimes like rape. Therefore it’s always better to be safe than sorry. 


Reservation doesn’t beget chances, it only gives birth to mediocrity.

submitted 1 year ago by in Politics
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Reservation doesn’t beget chances, it only mostly gives birth to mediocrity.

Once upon a time, there was this bright, young student who loved to study the human body. She was a keen observer of the sciences and developed a deep understanding of anatomy and medicine.

When she passed out from her college, naturally, she got fine grades in her subject, which she so loved. She was all set to be a student of medicine and surgery. Everyone knew that she would make a fine surgeon one day and that she would go on to save many lives.


When the time came for her to get into a fine medical institute, she got a shock. Her fine scores were not enough for her to get into the institute of her choice.


And the reason given to her was that the seats were filled. But there were a few seats left. Alas, these were reserved for certain ‘groups’. The bright girl begged and pleaded but to no avail. What really broke the camel’s back was when another student, someone who didn’t even have half her grades, she got a warm welcome…and a seat in the fine college of medicine.


Our bright student was completely heart broken and as her luck would have it, she couldn’t get a seat in any medical college. So she had to settle for graduating in science only. Her dreams were dashed and crushed beyond repair. Her parents did not have the capacity to buy her a seat. After all, her marks would be her currency, her father had remarked one day.


Anyway, time went on and the girl went on to pursue some other insipid profession, nothing much to do with medicine but something which would make her some fine money some day. She was at best, above average at it, her medical genius, now relegated to somewhere in the deep corner of her mind.

This other student, who had managed to get the coveted seat, she was struggling…flailing like a bird trapped inside a hunter’s net. She hadn’t mentally prepared for the difficult faculty of medicine and on the first day that she was introduced to a cadaver, she collapsed in fright. It had taken her a few days to get over it, which she did, but she could never ever regain her innocence again. Ultimately, she became a doctor, albeit after a great struggle.


Four years later, both the women graduated from their respective colleges.


One, an average marketing executive, and the other one, a seriously incompetent doctor who would now do no better than open a clinic in a small house and treat people for nothing more serious than severe cough and colds. No saving lives and making path-breaking medicinal discoveries for this one…And this is how most of the stories are ending in India, today.



Whether we like it or now, this is the real state of India. Talent is not encouraged and remains largely under credited and unrecognized. At the same time, certain groups do not want to work hard because they know that they will get employment or college seats on the basis of their background. So it is a lose lose situation for the nation, ultimately.


As a growing nation, we need to understand that if we are to shake this branding of a ‘third world country’ we need to drop this evil of caste and religion divide. We need to develop and nurture talent based on their skill and talent and not just because they belong to a certain ‘group.’


Even now, as I write this, there are people who are fighting for this reservation and that. Fight for your right, of course, but fight for the right things.




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The day that India does away with the reservation system, Indians will work that much harder to prove themselves and then, by default, there is no stopping a nation which consists of hardworking and talented people.  


Should we not self-censor what we publish on social media?

submitted 2 years ago by in Social
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 Do you think about the repercussions of what you share on social media? It can have consequences far beyond what you can imagine.


A Letter From Manushree

submitted 3 years ago by in Social
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In a world filled with despair and hopelessness, optimism can come in any form…sometimes never imagined. Here is how Manushree found her ray….